


past demons

by lesbianbey



Series: LGBT Kipling [20]
Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Foreshadowing, I'm so sorry, Love Confessions, M/M, Mood Whiplash, Nightmares, it gets better tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 01:39:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15159584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianbey/pseuds/lesbianbey
Summary: Shaolin has a terrible nightmare. Zeke is there to listen.





	past demons

**Author's Note:**

> Bitch before I go on this vacation next week imma post the last few stories of this series and move tf on! I miss this show bitch! at this point I believe on my block is Napoleon’s sequel just because my son Jason is on it. *shrug*

Upon hearing loud shrieks, Shao bolts for the front door but stops when he sees someone he hoped he never wanted to see when he escaped from his former life...and he has a gun in his hand, holding Napoleon while he cries silently, praying that he doesn't die today.

"Shaolin Fan-Faggot! _Just_ the man I was looking for!" Cadillac lets go of Napoleon, but not without pistol whipping him so hard he stumbles to the floor. Shao has half a mind to choke the shit out of Cadillac but the nigga's armed and he doesn't need to die just yet. "What, you didn't think we would find yo' dumb faggot ass?"

"What the hell are you doing here, _Clarence_?" Shao asks.

Little Wolf and Napoleon snort, but with a harsh glare, they both shut up. "What the hell am I doing here," Cadillac chuckles bitterly, making Shao more uneasy. "If you must know, _Curtis_ , mama ain't doin' so well and she wants me to find you and collect you for some reason...and i'm a man of my word."

"I'm not going anywhere. She can literally die and I wouldn't care, and you can gladly fuck off."

"I don't think that was a choice little nigga." Cadillac aims the gun to Shao's head, staring at him with a fiery hate that Shao is way too familiar with. "Get dressed, and let's go. I'm not gonna say it again."

Shao backs up a little. "Fine." He heads to his room and tries not to cry while he gets dressed. He really hopes this will be quick because he doesn't want to be involved with Annie's shit again. He escaped for a reason, yet his past comes back with a vengeance. He steps out and ignores Napoleon's terrified stare and faces his former gang brother. "Let's go."

Cadillac grins, grabs Shao's shirt, and pushes him out of the apartment. "Little Wolf, grab that little nigga," he orders, gesturing to Napoleon.

"You two, short stuff." Napoleon shakes his head but he's already being dragged out of the apartment. Shaolin surely has not missed Cadillac's whip so going inside brings to much memories from when he was burned several times with a cigarette or beaten with a broken steering wheel when he took too long to get an order. The smell of cigarette smoke annoys him.

" _Shut the fuck up!_ " Cadillac smacks Napoleon with his free hand while he starts the car, and it's now he realizes that Napoleon is freaking out. Normally he would bring Napoleon close and allow him to sleep on his lap but he couldn't do anything and it breaks his heart.

Cadillac keeps slapping him around, making the panic attack worse and worse. "Can you fucking not? It isn't helping!"

"You ain't about to tell me what the fuck to do, nigga," Cadillac says back, in a low voice that Shao recognizes and is even more scared of than the first time he heard it. "Keep your mouth shut."

Shao doesn't remember anything after that but he comes face to face with Annie's bedroom door, and Cadillac opens it. The smell of cigarettes that was previously permeating the room is now hitting him in the face and he has to cough several times. Now he can see why Annie isn't doing well - the fucking cigarettes she been smoking since before Shao was born.

"Shaolin! Baby, it's been a while." Her voice makes Shao physically nauseous. "Where you been hidin'?"

"I told you ma, the apartment at Charlotte Street," Cadillac answers for him. Shao probably needs to find a new place now, even though Annie looks like she's on her last legs of living. Cadillac would probably find him, and make sure his ass is in check, because sanity is scarce in this family. Wolf warned him of that, and he's seen it first hand right after they killed his ex.

"What do you want?" Shao asks rudely, tired of the stalling.

Annie raises an eyebrow. "Now I know you ain't forget that I can still beat your ass 'till you bloody. You got some nerve talking to me like that."

"With all due respect Miss Annie, I did not leave you just so you can swindle me back to this." Shao really didn't have any respect left for her. He just wanted to say that so he wouldn't sport a black eye and his friends (and boss) would start asking questions.

"Miss Annie ain't doin' well and she needs your help. I need you to continue the business, and this ain't up for discussion."

"No, i'm not doing it! I already told Cadillac I wasn't doing anything like that."

Annie shakes her head. "You ain't doing it...as far as I'm concerned, I own you even after death, baby. You a part of this family. Now, you're gonna agree to it, or your little friend gets it."

Shao doesn't have any choice. He really doesn't want any more blood on his hands but he doesn't want his friend to die. He made a promise to himself that he would keep Napoleon out of trouble and he stayed true to his word, but now fate got other plans for him. "Please...there's _gotta_ be another way…"

"You heard my mom, nigga," Cadillac growls.

Shao's bottom lip trembles. He really doesn't want to do this again. "Ok...imma do it…"

"Shao!" Napoleon shouts, but is immediately shut down with a slap across his face.

Annie cackles. "That's what i'm talkin' about!" She reaches over and grabs Shao by the collar and brings him closer to the bed. Cadillac takes this as a sign to leave the room, dragging Napoleon with him. Shao is the only other one in the room. He really looks at his former abuser in the face, and feels no remorse that she may die soon. This exact room is a living nightmare to him - he was beaten and raped in this exact room and now he has to be reminded again of those repressed memories.

He might just get a panic attack before Annie decides to take his pants off.

"Did you miss me?" Shao drowns out her voice, up until he feels her crusty hands on his stomach, and suddenly he cannot breathe.

He effectively pushes Annie off him but he doesn't get far. For someone who may die any second now, she's really fast. She grabs him and pins him on the bed, and his panic attack and attempts to cry out for help are not heard past her bedroom.

"Shao," she says in a voice he can't recognize. She says it again and again and again….

" _Shao!_ " He feels someone shaking him awake, which prompts him to smack the person's hand away from his vicinity and rush to the bathroom, emptying his stomach contents inside the toilet bowl.

"Shao, you ok in there?"

He's not. He barely sees straight flushing the toilet when big fat tears cloud his vision. He couldn't believe he's this close to breaking down emotionally in his bathroom floor after having one of the worst nightmares of his life, but when he feels arms around him, neither the tears nor the sobs could be held in for much longer.

He never wants that dream to become a reality. It was way more detailed and made much more sense than his previous one, which only provided dead people around him. Neither of those needed to come true.

"Shao…"

"Fuck, i'm sorry," he pulls away noticing that Zeke's shirt is soaked with tears, snot, and...is that leftover vomit? "I didn't expect to have a nightmare this bad while taking a nap."

"I've had my own while taking naps, trust me," Zeke replies. "You wanna explain it? It would probably make you feel better."

"It has a lot to do with my past."

Zeke doesn't say anything. He doesn't mention that he heard Shao mumbling a couple names and maybe it might prompt him to go searching. However he would much rather hear from the source. "I told you I can handle it. I got your back, forever and ever."

Zeke is right. Shao has to be honest with his mans, whether it might break him or not. "Fine...but I gotta pick myself up first...and change your shirt too. I think my lunch is on it."

Zeke peers down to his shirt, and curls his lip up. "Yeah, you right. Just for that, i'm borrowing a shirt."

* * *

 

A half hour and a clean shirt later, Shao twiddles his thumbs, trying to find the fucking confidence to be honest with Zeke about himself. It was so easy to tell Yolanda about some of it but it's so hard now. Maybe it's because he's in love with the person he's gonna tell and they might leave or never look at him the same again, which breaks his heart to even think about.

Sighing, he exits his room and goes back to the living room. He's so happy Napoleon isn't here and is actually on a real date with Boo (since he was clearly lying the last time) and none of the other niggas thought about coming here. He still feels queasy, even more so than when he woke up from that nightmare from hell.

Zeke turns around and beckons Shao to sit down. He rolls his eyes, since he was gonna already sit down already. When he does though, Zeke takes both of Shao's hands and holds them. "So, what should I start with, 'cause it's a lot." He removes his hands from Zeke's own and puts his hands on his face. He doesn't know what to say. There's so much messed up shit that no one should ever go through, ever in their life. "I ain't never told anyone about my past because I didn't want y'all to look at me differently. And not in an egotistical way. I just been through a bunch of shit in my lifetime that I don't want people to start taking pity of me...so please, Books, _promise_ me you won't look at me differently after I tell you what I can."

"I promise."

Upon hearing that sincere confirmation, Shao wipes his sweaty hands on his pants. "Before I got this place here and met all of y'all, I was a drug dealer. I was staying at a worn out club called Les Inferno, not too far from here, and my supplier was the owner, Annie Caldwell."

Zeke has vaguely heard of that place, and that's because no one goes there, well anymore. Ra's parents would mention that the place was always packed back in the 70s and 80s but fell to decline because people had other shit to worry about, like the AIDS epidemic. He doesn't say nothing, because he wants Shao to finish.

"She let me stay there after my place burned down and took my parents with it, and I couldn't stay with Leon's parents because they died too and Regina's parents had too much on their plates. She slowly got me to selling, and it got me money to save up for my future place, but it also came with a lot of shit. It wasn't safe, but it was so much better than what she did to me, along with her biological son." Shao almost feels his chest constrict thinking of the times his abuser touched him, beat him up, and kept him locked inside the club for days if she suspected that he was 'cheating' on her. Cadillac wasn't any better - he would often torture him for fun and throwing homophobic slurs at him, which has way more impact than anyone would believe it so. Fuck, he didn't want to feel like he was gonna get an attack at the middle of it, but he feels it coming and he shakes his head. "I can't…"

"Shao, it's ok," Zeke whispers, putting his hands on Shao's shoulders. "I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have let you go on with this if I knew it would make you freak out. I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything else."

"No, you not an idiot," Shao replies. "I already said I was gonna be honest...but I gotta skip some shit for now, you know?"

"I understand," Zeke replies, but he still feels bad for making Shao explain something that he obviously isn't ready for.

"I got this place while I sold. I had enough money to get my own place by sixteen but I never permanently moved until I got the chance. I didn't want it to be suspect, and I didn't want none of 'em niggas to try to find me. I had my life together, Books. I met you and the rest of the crew, I was getting a full time job thanks to my long time friend Flash, I was finally free from her clutches. But...then Napoleon showed up and I knew that it ain't over. He was so messed up, man. I almost couldn't handle it because he was so badly burned from the cigarettes she used to smoke, and he looked like he was on the run for mad long. I just knew that they are still looking for me. I still gotta watch my back in these streets. Every minute, second, hour...I gotta make sure no one's following us. I feel like she's gonna show up and ruin my life again. What cost is there escaping from your abuser if you have to fear for your damn life all the time?"

Shao breaks down again, getting Zeke's new shirt dirty again. It's his shirt, but Zeke still feels a sense of deja vu. He hugs Shao tighter, not even caring anymore. He feels even more bad, especially after realizing that he's the only one who knows of this, aside from Napoleon and Regina. They knew because they are a part of Shao's entire life. Zeke isn't. He's barely there.

It takes a while for Shao to calm down, and Zeke isn't even surprised. When Shao picks his head up, Zeke can really see how much this has drained him. He doesn't want to say anything, but the silence unnerves Shao indefinitely. "I'm starting to think you hate me now."

"Shao, you are the strongest person I know. You pushed aside your shit to look out for us, escaped from drugs and abuse, and kept others out of harm's way. Now tell me, what makes me think imma look at you _any_ different, let alone hate you? You surprise me everyday, but shit, nigga, I never felt more in love with you."

Shao furrows his eyebrows. "You love me?"

"Yeah, Shao. I love you."

Shado shakes his head, hoping someone could punch him to reality. Never has he ever experienced a love so strong, never in his life, not even with his ex. It's been a while. He missed it. "I love you too."

"Good, because nothing is going to chase me away from you," Zeke says firmly. "You got me for life."

"Now I know you love me because you can't stop being a cornball for a second."

Zeke snorts, and kisses Shao on the forehead. "I mean it though. I got your back, whether you my best friend or boyfriend."

Shao leans into Zeke's warmth, never wanting to leave. Not even Napoleon complains that he wants the couch. He just laughs and chases him away.


End file.
